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The Forbidden Codex of The Pink Beyond - A Sqrl's Journal

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July 15th, 2019


04:25 pm - Doctor's Appointment Addendum:
Excuse me, fat and potentially diabetic.

A1C score was 9.1, not sure what that means. Surely it can't be serious, because they told me to make an appointment "inside a month" and then kickflip-180'd to "Wait, we have nobody available, how about a month and a few days?"

Surely if I had critical deathbetes the well-oiled American medical system would ahahaha fuck you I can't finish that.

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July 12th, 2019


12:19 pm - Dcotor appointment complete
Old man steals all your blood and calls you fat - $200.
Med StuffCollapse )

Well, I'm still alive for the moment, so whatever.

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July 11th, 2019


01:02 am - Foxout 4 - A Mod List
I finally, not too long after release, decided to dive into the latest Fallout game -- what do you mean it's been four goddamn years?!

Never accuse me of working quickly.

Anyway, it's dumb and all but it's a decent first-person shooter with a lot of narrative and exploration storytelling and look, that is why I'm here. I know the ending, I vaguely know how the main plot goes, I am here for sidequests and to shoot all the people and loot all the shit out of ancient buildings.

So now that you know the sanctity of the game is already violated, it's no surprise I look like this.


"I'm telling you, molotov cocktails work. Any time I had a problem and I threw a molotov cocktail?
BOOM!
Right away I had a different problem."
- Jason Mendoza, The Good Place.

So what's up with my game? How can you too become a bubblegum-colored fox with large weapons rampaging through the wasteland ignoring many of the added in-game features? Or in other words, as people have asked me: "What's your mod list?"

Beneath the cut is my mod list.Collapse )
That's all you need to fox up the wastelands like a sqrlmog does. Happy foxing out. Four.

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July 7th, 2019


01:18 am - Recordkeeping: A Hat In Time COMPLETE
When I say "complete", I mean it's that weird kind of "complete" where you've seen credits but the save file says you're at like 45% of the game finished and you've done 16/46 achievements. Still, I saw credits so it's time to stop and write up my take on the game, which is this: That was an AMAZING 3D platformer. Really good stuff.

Every world has a different gimmick, whether it's two characters in contest or a free-roaming open level plan or just something as simple as "you can eat foods here". Every level except the first has a great flow, I was never confused about where to go or what to be doing. The general platforming flow is good and there's plenty of fan-made challenge levels for people who want to find difficulty or want to get really stuck in.

The writing in the game is very... uhm. Mature? Unexpected? And when I say mature I mean goofily immature in that silly dad-jokey sort of way. I love it, if you're expecting a more serious game... uh, too bad, sorry.

I had a fantastic time myself, and plan to go back and do more of it later.

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July 1st, 2019


09:22 pm - Voice Status: Okay
So now my streams include my voice, processed through a fish.

The trial run came out mostly okay. My throat's a bit sore after two hours of use.

I need to get the volume levels "correct" but... it should be okay. I guess.

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June 25th, 2019


03:29 pm - Recordkeeping: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Rescue-Palooza COMPLETE
After playing through Spider-Man PS4, I needed to get as far away from Mainstream Corporate AAA Gaming as I could for a while. What better way to do that than to plunge into the murky world of fan games? This one's super-free and pretty fun, you can give it a download if you like.

The game brags 60 characters and while I can't imagine anyone wants to co-op a Channel 6 News team of April O'Neil, Irma, Vernon, and Burne Thompson, I rather suppose they'd object to me forming a new team of Mutanimals and cruising through as Leatherhead the crocodile, Hothead the dragon, Tora the bara polar bear, and Dirtbag the pickaxing mole.

This thing's a love letter to all forms of "classic" 80s cartoon TMNT, encompassing the Konami NES and SNES games to some degree as well as the movies, TV show, and of course a slew of action figures. I'm impressed anyone bothered to sprite Mona Lisa the gecko girl but ... y'know what, hey, I'll run her through a level.

This felt like a good time even if it got super-hard at the very end ... but I did say "Konami games" right up there, right? Yeah, you should expect that challenge to creep up on you. A rocking ending and this was a great couple hours.

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June 24th, 2019


12:46 pm - A Stream is a Wish Your PC Makes
I started to stream Spider-Man, actually. It's a good streaming game probably. I love streaming open-world stuff, but then I realized that I was only awake and playing it at like... 2 in the morning, so I eventually gave up streaming it so I could actually finish it.

That's a major problem with my stream schedule: I don't have one. I don't have a regular sleep schedule because I am prone to clonking over and snoring like a gravel pit run through a blender any time, anywhere, day or night. I'm aware that as a shut-in shiftless layabout I enjoy a lot of "up all night" action that my friends do not.

On the other hand, I have an unlisted channel with a very small niche audience so who cares about regularity, I suppose? Dunno. On one hand, I could just stream whatever, whenever. On the other hand I like to feel like I'm providing at least some service.

I've also been thinking about my voice. I don't use it much because I'm a shut-in shiftless layabout so who would I talk to anyway, but maybe I can make playing video games 14 hours a day slightly less unwholesome if I start talking over them. Unfortunately my voice sounds like Homosexual Stereotype Night at the Outdated Stereotypes Bar and Grill, so I sort of want to experiment with a pitch-shifter so I'll at least sound like a slightly more squirrelish and gender-neutral stereotype.

Otherwise I start to talk into the microphone and I suddenly think of how awful my voice is and that reminds me how awful my everything else is, and thinking like that just completely sows salt in my fields and I freeze up and nothing comes out until I've unplugged the microphone.

It would however really help if I didn't have to type everything in by hand, often putting down my sensitive controller which promptly changes to Input Port 2 because my PC's USB ports are wonky.

The short of that is, I have a rabbit I need to talk to about pitchbending. We'll see what goes down. (Not my voice.)

I suppose the final question is, really, why bother? I know several people who seem to enjoy watching me awkwardly flail at video games, but I don't really understand why or how they get drawn in. Like I said, there's a small handful of people who subscribe (and probably aren't getting any fucking emails when I go online, thanks Twitch) and if I want an audience any larger than that I have to submit to the terrifying ordeal of making people aware of me, even if it's just unchecking the "hidden channel" box on Twitch which it kindly informs me can never again be re-checked.

Once you stand up, you are no longer hidden. The first lesson of not being seen is not to stand up.

So, why am I thinking about being seen at all?

Still working on that one.

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12:35 pm - Recordkeeping: Spider-Man (PS4) Complete
How do I put this beyond "Man that sure was a Spider-Man story all right"?

Mechanics. Excellent swinging and mobility, which is good because a Spider-Man game lives or dies on that. Slightly over-complicated combat system, but once I learned how it worked, it was really fun. Everything I found myself wanting to do was either unlockable or tied to a suit.

Nice suit upgrades, by the way: Every upgrade comes with a suit, but is not glued to that suit, so you can mix and match. Wear Ben Reilly's look with a bulletproof armor power, or wear the cool TRON-esqe Fear Itself suit with Spider-Punk's guitar-blaster. It's all there.

Miles is introduced early, and he's playable and fun. MJ is also playable and reporter here, so she does a lot of investigative B&E and that's a good time. They put in WORK here to get a cinematic experience but to also not let the cinematic experience stand in the way of having a fun time just dicking around.

So this was, all around, A Good Time. Maybe one of the better games of 2019 honestly. Very polished. As you'd expect from High Budget Corporate Gaming.

I'll get to the DLC some other day, I want to play something else for a bit.

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June 20th, 2019


08:44 pm - Dream of Last Night: Chicken Littling.
So this one's moody.Collapse )

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June 19th, 2019


04:50 am - Raising Awareness: This dragon game has a GOOD DEMO
So there's a game called "Golden Treasure: The Great Green" up on Steam and I went straight for the demo with both hands and a wide smile because the first line of the Steam description was this:

"Golden Treasure is a game for those who carry dragons in their hearts."

Which is true, it very much is.

Golden Treasure embraces the Dragon as an end to itself, a creature of three drives: Destruction (apex predator), Creation (mage and reproducer), and Greatness (treasure-hoarding). Everything is prey, treasure is status, curiosity and life are valued above all else. Go forth and become Great.

This is a choose your own adventure-style adventure with lots of text and GORGEOUS art. It has a few minigames that might be better suited to a phone screen than a PC, but y'know let's just roll with it and they give you an option to turn the hardest one off so whatever. As you explore and learn you build up elemental stats, which carry over into the combat minigame which I am unfortunately super bad at.

Mostly it's about the writing and... mmh. Hm.

So... okay. I'm sorry but I'm a sucker for this kind of writing. It's all about Capitalized Words and Abstract Concepts and everything you meet confronts you with riddling poetry in inventive fonts. It uses lots of words like "scalebeast" and "goodbeast" to describe animals. You can eat a bird and decide the feathers were so pretty you want to harf them up and keep them as treasurey trade goods. Humans are weirdo evils who don't play the Natural Rules.

This game is the 100-ounce Big Gulp Travel Mug of Swooshy Dragon Fantasy Prose. It is the equivalent of pulling up Google Archives and slam-dunking the entire alt.fan.dragons archive into your brain. It's like attending your 201 courses at Otherkin University. You're putting your face right in the reactor core here, and if you're the target audience then you know exactly how to describe the flittering of your tongue as you sup.

Either you're going to love it for being what it is or hate it for being what it is.

Me, I love this.

So hey, check out the demo with me. It's up on Steam. Good stuff. Don't interact with the blue mushrooms. They aren't worth the price.

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